She stands outside the window as they await her arrival. They’re a chatty, gregarious bunch, where she is a square within the circle. Where she fits well enough, though not quite in.
sms aka cerebral introvert 2009
I have enthusiastic, opinionated friends and I have reserved, observant friends. I have faith-based, religious associates and I have those who are spiritual though not a part of organized religion. I have intellectual, bookish acquaintances and slightly odd yet highly creative acquaintances. All of them challenge my thinking, all of them inspire me to be a better version of myself. And yet, there are times when I feel like a square within a circle.
Of course, no person or group can relate fully to every aspect of our personality, and we shouldn’t expect them to. Imagine how bland it would be if everyone roamed the earth as doppelgangers. We are individuals with unique ideas, quirks, and challenges. Still, feeling disconnected is disheartening. Why? Because everyone yearns to be understood, seen (beyond the surface), and heard. Belonging is a universal quest.
Which brings me to a saying that I came across over the weekend. It read, Surround yourself with people who get it.
The number of hours I flipped this quote around in my mind is ridiculous. My first thought was, Heck. YEAH! Because, let’s be honest, the worst thing ever when fervently explaining something to someone is hearing, “I don’t get it.” But as I studied the last two words of the quote and repeated them a few times, I thought, Get what exactly, especially when there are so many sides to my personality? What if, god forbid, no one ever gets it completely? Should I throw my entire entourage away?
I believe we evolve and grow with each phase of life. As we do, our thoughts and ideals evolve as well. As our interests expand, more friends are thrown into our circle. With time, some friends no longer serve an active purpose in our journey. All of that is OK. I think the most important thing is to surround ourselves with people who support our growth. People who meet us where we are and who put forth an effort to understand, even if that means putting in work to become more knowledgeable.
My mash up of friends embody everything that I am and everything that I am not, in a good way. I am blessed by our similarities and enlightened by our differences. And I wouldn’t change my little circle for anything, even if I am and very well may forever be a square.
So, if you haven’t already, discover yourself in this phase of your life and go find your people 😊
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On Finding Your People
How would you describe your inner circle? Has this group changed over the years or stayed the same, and how so? Do you feel seen and heard in the world; why, or why not?
Lists and Life 